Christless, grace-less attempts at change conclude either with the praise of your own glory or with your shame. – (“Who Is God?,” Seeing with New Eyes by David Powlison, p.48)

Why do I fail in my attempts at change? Answer: Because I attempt to change my life in my own strength, for my own glory. With a doctrine of sin, I become frustrated that I have yet again become entangled in my sin! I dislike reaping what I sow. I know sin has consequences: thorns and bad fruit.

My habit of running to escapes when I have course work due the next day is not helpful. I become outraged at myself when I don’t do as well as I should on my assignments or examinations. “I could have done better if I didn’t waste time!” I try to encourage myself out of my guilt by telling myself: “I will redouble my efforts and be successful next time.” But somehow, escapes like the internet and email claim my attention, and I fail yet again.

I fail because I have a self-centered approach in my war against sin. My anger is against the consequences of sin, rather than the evilness of sin. I do not realize that my sin is an offense against God. (Psalm 51:4, Luke 15:18, Genesis 39:9.) Instead of being upset that I have wasted my precious time when I should have been studying, I should be concerned that I have not lived life to God’s glory. I have sinned against God by trying to forget my worries. I forget God’s presence and do not rely on him for tomorrow. My motivation, my heart for change, is not pure. I am mad at myself because of my pride. I want to achieve my own righteousness. I dislike feeling guilty and wish those feelings would go away. But this is worldly guilt that leads to death. (2 Corinthians 7:10.) Graciously, God lets me fail again and again when I attempt to change in my own strength.

God wants to cultivate in me godly guilt. Godly guilt leads to repentance and life. At the heart of godly guilt is an attitude that makes Christ preeminent. A doctrine of sin would have me examine why my sin is so ugly. It makes a mockery of God’s power and presence when I fail to trust in him. I should not be surprised at my sinfulness. This is why Christ had to die! I need Christ’s love, forgiveness, and power to change. I need to live life to the praise and glory of his grace. Whether I eat or drink, I must do all for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31.) God is glorified as I rely on him for grace to change. He wants me to testify that his grace is sufficient for me, and that his power is made perfect in my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9.) May we boast in our weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest in us!

A ‘worrier’ is storing ‘treasure’ in the wrong place. If what you most value can be taken away or destroyed, then you set yourself up for anxiety. – (“Don’t Worry: Luke 12:22-34,” Seeing with New Eyes by David Powlison, p.115)

This summer, I found myself awakening in the morning, only to hop on the internet to check my stock portfolio. With stinky breath and a growling stomach, I found myself compulsively logging into my E-trade account to get my jolt of energy for the day. The Lord graciously revealed to me that I was trusting in money for my future.

It was difficult to see that I had a fearful and idolatrous heart since my stocks did well and I had developed a long term perspective of investing to deal with temporary losses. The Holy Spirit graciously showed me that I had placed a false trust in wealth and established an idol. It is no fun having joy and happiness that is tied to the stock market. In reality, my dreams and ambitions of acquisition are ladders to no where. David Powlison is right. If my treasure is in the wrong place, even if I feel good or everything is going my way, I’m building my house on sand. If what I most value can be taken away or destroyed, I set myself up for anxiety. “Whether it be money, health, a particular friendship, the dream of marriage, success in sports or business, or how your children turn out, you’re building your house on sand.” (p.115)

My idols are cruel masters. I mistakenly believe that things of this world can keep my life long and prosperous. The truth is: security and comforts are ultimately found in God alone. Scripture says, what does it prosper a man if he gain the whole world but lose his own soul? If what I value can be taken away, I set myself up for trouble. Because my treasure is misplaced, I worry about things outside of my control. I become self-absorbed and trust in myself. I give glory to my idols and ask them to treat me well.

Worrying really does nothing. It is stupid and nonsensical. Idols can not answer my prayer. The alternative to worry is trust in the living God. The Lord is near. He is at hand. I need not be anxious about anything. I need not fend for myself. His kingdom will have no end. Let us be thankful and take everything to the Lord in prayer, seeking first His kingdom and glory.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Phil 4:4-7

The language of love, trust, fear, hope, seeking, serving- terms describing a relationship to the true God- is continually utilized in the Bible to describe our false loves, false trusts, false fears, false hopes, false pursuits, false masters. – (David Powlison writing in Idols of the Heart and “Vanity Fair,” Journal of Biblical Counseling, 13:2, p.36)

Asking myself what I love, fear, and trust can give me great insight into what false gods I serve. God deserves and requires all my trust, love, and fear. These verbs describe the language of worship. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind (Matthew 22:37). Trust in the Lord with all your heart… (Proverbs 3:5). Fear the Lord, you his saints… (Ps 34:9). When I love myself above God and others, I make an idol. This idol will be a cruel master to me. It will come with stress, anxiety, fear, anger, frustration and lead to death.

Take for example my trust in my own abilities to get me through law school exams. I become anxious, fearing that I would fail an exam and believing that a life of academic failure would not be worth living. I have placed my hopes in my own abilities and in the success that comes with academic achievement. I fear tomorrow, believing that I must fend for myself. I fear my professors, surmising that they are out to get me and destroy me. I fear that without education, I would not have all I need to live since I would not be able to make good money. I fear what others will think of me if I fail.

Other times, when I am not afraid, I become prideful, believing that it is by my own hand that I have achieved something. I love myself and seek my own comforts. What foolishness! God is opposed to the proud.

I must be careful that my passion for the Lord is not consumed by my love, fear, and trust of idols. Scriptures provide an alternative to ungodly fear and pride. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 1:7). I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him (Luke 12:4-5)! With a fear of the Lord, what else shall I fear? What can man do to me?!

If I hope in the Lord and in His provision (2 Peter 1:3), I would not hope in paper– an academic degree or in currency that burns, in my abilities, or in the approval of others. I pray that we would love, fear, and trust the Holy One who is worthy of such reverence. To God alone be glory.

Philippians instills in me a longer view of the battle– the marathon of the Christian life. It offers joy and hope and encourages me to strain toward the goal, because Christ Jesus has made me his own (3:12)! I know that I am not always overflowing with joy and thanksgiving, in stark contrast with the Apostle Paul’s admonition to rejoice always. Lest I feel discouraged, Scripture reminds me that contentment is learned (4:11). Ultimately, it is God who began a good work in me and He will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (1:6). Knowing this makes it a delight to run the race with perseverance. I press on toward the prize and fix my eyes on Jesus. I emulate Christ’s life and example. When I fail, I know that God is still faithful (1 Corinthians 10:13). He will work in me both to will and to work for his good pleasure (2:13). He will supply every need of mine through Christ Jesus (4:19).

I should live life with confidence. The Christian life depends on God’s faithfulness to us, not in my own faithfulness to Him. If I sin, I have an advocate. God is glorified as I relearn essential Christian truth: that I have a righteousness that comes through faith in Christ, not by works (3:9). We hope in the Lord, knowing that our citizenship is in heaven and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like His glorious body, by the power that enables Him even to subject all things to himself (3:20).

As a counselor, it will be important for me to have hope and not be caught up in the despair of my counselees. Seeing how Paul admonishes Euodia and Syntyche, I am reminded to rejoice always (4:4), even if I face tense and conflict-like situations. If I am to avoid picking up the anxiety, fear, or worries of my counselees, I must count the things of this world as loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord (3:7). I must quiet my soul and not run after things too great and marvelous for me (Psalm 131:1). If I am to point others to Christ, I must look at God’s provision in Christ and not hope in my E-trade portfolio. Instead of self-centeredness, I am to have the mind of Christ, a mind of humility which counts others more significant than myself (2:3ff). Faith works itself out in love, to the praise and glory of God.

Have you ever noticed in yourself a desire to be right in an argument at the expense of hurting a relationship? I see in myself a desire to prove myself at the expense of others. Standing for truth is important, but when love has left my heart, I have created an idol. “The approval of others” idol is a cruel master. This idol manifests itself in many ways. I get angry when I do not get the praise and respect of others. I am petrified at the thought of confronting my brothers and sisters in Christ. I shy away from sharing the gospel with needy sinners, fearing rejection.

Must I prove my self-worth to strangers, friends, and family? Oh the folly of it! When I seek the approval of man and fail to love others more than myself, I suffer from spiritual nearsightedness and have forgotten that I am cleansed from my former sins (2 Peter 1:9). It is only by realizing that I get my self-worth from Christ that I can be free from the need to prove myself. Christ created me. He loved me and gave himself for me on the cross (Gal 2:20). Let my boast be in the cross, not in my own righteousness or abilities (Gal 6:14).

I am united to Christ. I am declared righteous in God’s sight and my sin is not counted against me because of Christ’s substitutionary sacrifice on the cross and His obedience to the law. Justification is an act of God’s grace, not tied to my performance. Hebrews 10:14 says it well: For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.

C.J. Mahaney explains:

You will never be more justified — more accepted by God and righteous in his sight — than you are right now or than you were that first moment you exercised the gift of faith in the person and work of Jesus Christ. Our hope for each day is not in trying to earn God’s forgiveness, but to look outward and upward, trusting in the work of God’s Son on our behalf, for our justification is in Him, permanently and forever. – CJ Mahaney

I need to remember that my righteous standing before God is secured by the sacrifice and obedience of Jesus. If Christ is my Savior, I have been made righteous through Him! The gospel frees me to love people and die to my selfish lusts. If I fear God, I need not fear anyone or anything else. May the truth of Christ’s atonement and love for sinners sink into my heart. I should be honest with myself about my sin. I need not hide my spiritual nakedness. Instead, I should bring my sin into the light so that it can be exposed and wither.

We often come up with certain rules or laws, believing that if we keep them, we are more “right” before God. It is then only a small step before we start judging other people based on their performance regarding these rules or laws. The rules that we make for ourselves are often good things. However, we often abuse them. For example, as we struggle with the desire to be in control of our lives, we erect laws that try to maintain that control. These laws could be as simple as, “Don’t cut me off on the road’ or “The house has to be kept tidy.” When people break these laws, we feel that we are losing control, and that people do not respect us. Moreover, we feel that we are right and they are wrong. The usual result is anger, whereby we try to retake control of the situation and show just how right we are. Thus, instead of the law being used to tell us how we ought to love other people, we use it against other people. – A Sunday School Lesson

I have nothing to prove. I am what I am by the grace of God. May we learn to enjoy the freedom of the gospel: freedom from slavery to sin, freedom from legalism, freedom to enjoy God, and freedom to love others.

True gain does not come from smart investments in the stock market, a large income, or storing up worldly knowledge. True gain comes from knowing Christ (Phil 3:7-11) and pursuing godliness (1 Timothy 6:6-9).

Knowing Christ: But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith – that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. – Phil 3:7-11

Pursuing godliness: Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. – 1 Timothy 6:6-9

When I am not thankful and content, I should pursue true gain by pursuing an intimate knowledge of Christ and joy in godliness. Idols that rule my heart make for cruel masters. “He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves wealth with his income; this also is vanity.” (Ecclesiastes 5:10.) Why not serve the true and living God? How silly I am when I do not praise God for his blessings (James 1:17) and enjoy what he has given me (Ecclesiastes 5:19).

But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. – 1 Timothy 6:11-12

How great a salvation! Whoever does the will of God abides forever.

God’s goodness is a truth I can live by. I am taking this opportunity to blog so that in future days, I can remind myself of this unchanging truth. My lips should be quick to praise God! I should not be surprised at my Father’s goodness to His children.

Scripture teaches that God does not withhold anything that is good to His children. Not one thing! The proof is found in Jesus Christ.

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? – Romans 8:32

Knowing that God has sacrificed His own son for me, I should realize that God will provide everything that I need for life and godliness. In Christ, He has already provided for my needs. He will continue to provide for me!

Tomorrow, will I remember to ‘preach the gospel to myself’ and remind myself of God’s overwhelming grace?! Will I hope in God? Will I realize God’s good gifts to me and praise the Creator?

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. – Lamentation 3:22-23

Oh, that I would not worry, but instead, entrust my life to the Creator. Lord, help me to put on thankfulness and gratitude! Lord, you are worthy of my affections. I owe you my worship, fear, love, and trust. Fear the Lord, all you His saints, for those who fear Him have no lack!

Why am I so ungrateful? Gratitude should mark the lives of those who have experienced God’s grace! (These words have the same root. In greek: gratitude is ‘eucharistian,’ while grace is ‘charis.’)

While my circumstances often take me by surprise, nothing ever takes God by surprise. God in His sovereignty has subjected all things under His control. God is sovereign over all of nature (Ps 103:19, Eph 1:11, Romans 8:28). He commands the winds of the sea! His sovereignty covers the grave and death. He is sovereign over nations and kings (Ps 47:7-9, Dan 2:20-21; 4:34-35). His sovereignty covers the lives of individuals (1 Sam 2:6-7; Gal 1:15-16). In love he predestined me for adoption, redemption, and riches that flow from His grace. (Eph 1:5,7) God is sovereign over “accidents”? (Matthew 10:29-31, Pr 16:33). I place “accidents”? in quotes because nothing is an accident from God’s perspective. Why should I worry about my life? Will it add another hour to my life? … Nothing ever takes God by surprise.

Because of God’s sovereignty and His goodness, I am confident that He will work ALL things out to my good (Romans 8:28). He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7). He loved me and gave Himself for me (Gal 2:20). Whatever I ask in Christ’s name will be granted to me (John 16:23). If I seek first God’s kingdom and glory, my joy will be made full (Matthew 6:33, John 16:24). He will provide for all of my needs through Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:19)

My prayer: Lord, my confidence is in you. I know you will finish what you have begun in me. (Phil 1:6). I forsake my silly and wicked ways. Be my treasure and my peace!