If you haven’t seen the movie Fireproof, you should! The movie portrays the life of a married couple, Caleb and Katherine. They are caught in sin and about to get “an ugly divorce.” The movie depicts gospel truth, showing the need for the gospel to break through hard hearts before relational healing and peace is possible. Fireproof exhibited this truth: knowing the peace and love of God through Jesus Christ is a prerequisite for a great and God-honoring marriage. In this day and age where marriage is not esteemed, I was glad to find a rule breaker of a movie. It was so good that I saw the movie three different times with different groups of friends. (I’ll even admit that I cried each time, each time a little later in the sequence of the movie, but tears were shed nonetheless.)

I particularly love the movie from a Peacemaking standpoint. When you see the movie, see if you recognize any of the seven A’s of confession, (thanks to Peacemaker ministries), when Caleb confesses his wrongdoing to his wife Katherine. Caleb’s repentance and confession to God led to peace with God and obedience to him. This in turn led to true brokenness and confession of sins to his wife. He owned his sin and accepted the consequences. Let it be known: there can be no peace with others, until there is peace with God. Peace is not simply the absence of conflict, but true relational intimacy, unity, and shalom.

The movie did well in other categories as well. It contained clean humor, surprising twists, and distinct personalities that stay true to their character. Other notable points:

1. God used several characters to work in the lives of Caleb and Katherine. Ministry is a team effort of love.
2. Sin was exposed using the standard of God’s holiness and his law. Without this, we don’t have true conversion and sincere repentance.
3. True manliness is shown. It takes bravery to own one’s own sin. Caleb dealt with his sin radically and biblically.
4. Hardness of hearts was revealed, but God’s grace was greater than their sin!
5. We are shown the silliness and folly of prideful characters. You’ll have to see the movie to understand which character I am talking about!
6. We are shown the danger of foolish counsel and the benefits of wise counsel.
7. The movie was romantic, showing the love of Christ through a husband who faithfully pursues his bride.
8. We are shown the danger of following our heart and desires.

If ever there is a period in my life of monumental changes, it is now. In 5 days I will be graduating from Liberty University School of Law. In 12 days, I will be wed to Kerrie Anne. In the next month, I will have finished my 40-page jurisprudence paper on surrogate mothers, secured a new place to live in Lynchburg, a new bed to sleep on, changed my marital status, changed my living situation from sharing a place with a few guys to sharing a home with one beloved wife, gone to Yosemite on a breathtaking honeymoon, and started studying for the 29 subject Virginia Bar Exam. I will do all these things by the strength of the Lord.

There is nothing like enjoying God-given life in the present. I do suffer moments of brief worry about the future, but over all, God has been good to remind me to trust in His provisions. I could easily let myself become ruled by worry and forget the tasks that the Lord has already set before me. Where will I work? I need money! In my zeal, I want to start earning money right away so that I can be a provider for my family. But the Lord is teaching me patience.

God’s grace supplies all my needs. It is amazing to me how quickly I forget passages like the “Do Not Worry About Tomorrow” passages in Matthew and in Luke. God promises His own that if we seek first His kingdom, everything else will be added to us. My prayer has been that God’s kingdom would be glorified in my life. I want to build God’s kingdom, not my own. People often ask me if I am stressed. Nope, I am not. The reason why I can handle stress is because in this world of unknowns, I am known by the one who spoke galaxies into existence. Christ died for me, that I may live a life of faith.

It is amazing to me how much of the Christian life is one of proper perspective and vision. Faith would have me jumping up and down at the goodness of God. He is so good! Luke 12:32 says it well: “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Because Christ died for me, I know that the trials of life will not flip my boat over. With Christ, I can weather any storm. I remember John MacArthur mentioning in one of his sermons that he never has trouble sleeping because of worry. This is the life I want to live!

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.
O Israel, hope in the LORD!
For with the LORD there is steadfast love,
and with him is plentiful redemption.
And he will redeem Israel
from all his iniquities. – Psalm 130:5-8

So now, after this brief reminder to myself about finding rest in Christ, I am ready again to tackle that 40-page paper that God has set before me. I bid thee well, that you too will find rest in the storm.

Eliot Spitzer, the governor of NY, is being scandalized by claims of involvement with prostitution. While parties are innocent until proven guilty, the evidence seems hard to beat.

Picture the darkness and sin that drives the players: the prostitute, the ring leader, the client. Each has sinful lusts and desires gone out of control, which lead to darkness and death. Lust for sex, a quick thrill, power, physical pleasure, money… Each party involved thinks they are gaining the world, but in reality, they are forfeiting their souls and bodies. They reject God and believe a lie.

They sacrifice their careers and reputations, risk jail and their health. They chose the path of death over life. They forfeit what could be their’s: true pleasures at God’s right hand. When I see the sins of others, it makes me sad. I am sad because sin brings so much misery… both to the wrongdoers and those they wronged. Think of all the spouses and women harmed!

Seeing the ugliness of sin also makes me think of the gospel. I see what I could have been. I become grateful to God for his mercy. Praise be to God who has freed us from death and slavery. Without him, who knows where I would be?! I am not a good person, but I know the one who is!

Today, one in four teenage girls has a STD. Half of all marriages in America end in divorce. Such was us… But we are a holy priesthood, called by God to give him praise. We are new creations! We are not slaves of sin, but rather, of righteousness!

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. – 1 Peter 2:9

Don’t for a second envy the world. And if you do, run to Christ, for in him is forgiveness, true joy, and life everlasting.

The Scene:
I return home from a busy day of attending classes and studying. I desire rest and peace, relaxation, and a safe shelter after a long day of work. After a few minutes of surfing the net, I find myself faced with a choice point: to check my stocks or…? I decide that on this day, I need to know how my stocks are doing. I just need to know!

Slowing it Down:
The Bible doesn’t explicitly mention how often I am to log into my E-trade account. However, it does speak to me concerning my heart and my treasure. My habit of checking my portfolio is not as harmless as it appears; it has been a distraction from godly living and contentment in Christ.

Why is the desire to know the status of my portfolio so strong? I want to feel secure– unafraid of the future. I seek comfort in knowing that my needs will be met; I believe that money can buy me what I need. I use money like a drug, to forget my worries and cover up my neediness. It is an escape from my troubles and sorrows. I treat money as a deity. I run to my portfolio, because I want it to tell me, “All will be well for tomorrow. Fear not!” Uncovering the thought pattern of my escapist tendencies will help me in my pilgrimage of life. I should be running to the Lord for refuge, not to distractions such as money, food, the internet, etc…

When my wealth increases, I experience euphoria. I find a reason to live. I feel important– that I have self-worth. It is I who made an excellent choice on a particular stock. I can thank myself for my good fortunes. Others who are not as successful as me are puny.

Madness! Where do I think my fortunes come from?

Other times, my idol is not so kind. My idols of wealth and security toss me around. A misplaced treasure is really no treasure at all. Stocks fall and I become disappointed at my losses. Anxiety and worry about the future overtake me. I am not happy and am tempted to find happiness in other puddles of mud, in other idols. Oh the folly of serving false gods! God is gracious to let me know that I am building my house on sand. If where my treasure is is something that can be taken away, I have a house of cards.

The Lord shows me that my soul is not well and peaceful within. The Lord would have me be productive, and not worry about things outside my control. The choice point is rather simple, either I trust in God or I trust in an idol: things or myself.

I am a 22 year old, third-year law student on track to graduate in 2008. I would love to go to seminary in the near future. There is good fruit in my life. There are signs of love for people. I want to use my talents and gifts to serve people. I am hospitable with my talents and time, my house and vehicle, the food in my refrigerator, etc. I have a girlfriend, a small reserve of money, and big visions for the future. I want to start a family next summer and begin using my cash for my seminary education, my future wife’s education, and family necessities such as food, clothing, shelter, insurance, etc…

Money is a means to fulfill my ambitions. I don’t want to be rich, but I want to have enough cushion so that I can concentrate on God’s work. I desire a safety net. After all, having a reserve of cash is wisdom, isn’t it? I desire to be a good steward. God wants me to be responsible and provide for a family, right?! I desire to be a good husband. To start a family, I will need to be able to provide financially. Starting a family is God-glorifying, right and good! With money, I can be educated and equipped for gospel service. The bills will add up. In the near future, I will need perhaps 60k for seminary, 40k for insurance, 50k for my wife’s education, etc….

The evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but that we want it too much. – John Calvin.

My idolatry isn’t simply the idolatry of money. I am an idol factory. I long for the comfort, security, and joys that money promises. An idol is something other than God that we set our hearts on. It motivates us, masters or rules us, and enslaves us.

God Meets Us as We Are, but Changes Us:
God wants to change me more than my circumstances. He wants me to trust in Him for my needs, not in my own abilities. My escapist tendencies are met by a God who is described as a good shepherd, one who lays down his life for the sheep. I need not fend for myself. I am led by a God who will not quench a faintly burning wick. If I let the Lord be my shepherd, I shall not want. God encounters me in my fear and worry and lets me know that worry is foolishness. My desires for worth are met when I remember that I am rich in Christ! (2 Corinthians 8:9.)

This God who calls me to trust in Him is the God of comforts, safety, and rest. He is a Solid Rock on which to build my life. He does not promise an easy life, but he promises us Himself. “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” God proclaims to me that he is the treasure and that he is more than enough! True rest can only be found in the solace of God. In the parable of the rich fool, Scripture reminds me that placing my trust in this world is foolishness. (Luke 12:13-20.) My soul is much more important.

To counteract my self-trust, Scripture proclaims the Mighty Fortress. “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” – Psalm 18:2.

To counteract my pride, Scripture puts me in my place. It reminds me that wealth is worthless in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death. (Proverbs 11:4.) It reminds me that every thing I have is a gift from God. “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (1 Corinthians 4:7.) Scripture reminds me to seek first God’s kingdom. (Matthew 6:33.)

To counteract my false joys, Scripture reminds me that God is the source of joy and that godliness with contentment is true gain. (1 Timothy 6:6.)

To counteracts my self-sufficiency and self-dependency, Scripture reminds me that my heavenly Father knows my needs (Matthew 6:32), that He will supply every need of mine according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

To counteract my fear, Scripture reminds me to fear not, for I am of the flock and God is a good shepherd. He desires to give me the kingdom. (Luke 12:32.)

To counteract my fear of loneliness or abandonment, Scripture reminds me that God will never leave me nor forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5.)

To counteract my selfishness, Scripture commands me to store up treasure in heaven and give to the needy. (Luke 12:33.)

Remembering the promises of God and recognizing my idolatry will be helpful in other vignettes of my life. I need to watch my tendency towards worry and discontent when spending money or when paying bills. I need to ask myself where my trust is when I desire a refuge– when I am bored and wandering or when I seek safety in a stressful time.

If you are hung up on money you may not even be a Christian, because people in Christ’s Kingdom are laying up treasure in heaven — investing in eternity. – John MacArthur (http://www.biblebb.com/files/MAC/sg2245.htm)

A practical way to fight my love of money is to fast from E-trade and to guard against substitute idols and escapes, such as facebook.com.

Good fruit will result in even more hospitality and giving. It would result in me enjoying what God has given me and not being fretful about spending money. I would run to God in times of stress, not to his good gifts. I would show people where my treasure is.

I would not worry about tomorrow, but would work diligently and steadily and give God the glory for what He has provided. I would trust God and not my own abilities to meet my needs. I would seek the balanced third-way, avoiding love or disdain of money. Everything created by God is good if it is received with thanksgiving. I would live life with a faith that works itself out in love. I would use what I have received to love others and build God’s kingdom. I would share what I have and help the hurting and suffering. I would love, fear, and trust in God above all else.

Many of you singles want to walk in wisdom when considering marriage. I thank God for your attitude. It’s a great attitude to have. I’d like to share with you something I read, lest we get cold feet for marriage… Here is Elisabeth Eliot’s reply to a young man who kept falling in and out of love:

About this business of falling out of love. Everybody does it, you know. Sometimes before they get married, but always afterwards. Modern folks simply bug out of the marriage then, if they feel no obligation to keep vows – vows made foolishly, they believe.

There is something to be said for making an adult choice and sticking with it. “Being in love,” wrote C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity, “is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all … In fact, the state of being in love usually does not last…. But of course ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love… is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask and receive from God…. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep their promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.

So, Philpott, one of these days you need to take a cool, clear look at a good Christian woman. Assess her potentials as a good Christian wife. Is she the kind you’d want as a hostess at your table? Is she what you want for a mother for your children? Is she womanly? Godly? Sensible? Modest? Companionable? Do you think she’s “worth” your love? Are you worth hers? (If you think you are, you’re probably wrong. Each is to esteem the other better than himself.) Is it God’s time for you to get married? Then make up your mind and ask God’s help to love her as she ought to be loved!

You said, “One never knows which way the Lord will lead,” and that’s true. He just might be telling you to “be not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding…” (Psalm 32:9) and get with it.

Don’t get me wrong. I have no idea that Cheryl is The Woman. Don’t know a thing about her except that you said she’s gorgeous. That isn’t enough. But if you’re looking for some kind of feeling that will be consistent day in and day out, forget it. The kind of love that sustains a marriage is God given, but is also a daily choice. For the rest of your life. Never forget that.

You have to choose the woman, with all the brains and good sense you’ve got, plus all the other methods of knowing what God wants of you (you’ve read my little book, A Slow and Certain Light, about guidance, haven’t you?) and then make your move. You have my prayers. – Chapter 42 of Passion and Purity

Eliot’s response helps us consider whether we are walking in wisdom or not. I need to look for a wife who is respectful, gentle, loving and kind (considers others better than herself), and moral (someone who has repented of immorality and has changed her lifestyle).

(Single Christians must consider whom they will marry carefully. You may want to check out these sermons: Wife Seekers Beware, Part 1, Wife Seekers Beware, Part 2)