As Christians, we must ask why we do the things we do to see how we can apply Scripture and wisdom to our actions. It is a lifetime challenge to take every thought captive to Christ and to be renewed in our minds. But proper thinking is an essential for proper living and joy in righteousness. Therefore, asking and answering the right questions is an important step in our fight for joy.

Therefore I ask this question for the joy of singles:

When should a couple, (as a couple), do pre-marital counseling?

Obviously, before marriage, but what about before or after engagement? I don’t think my question is as silly as it sounds.

In many churches today, members get engaged, and then hurry into the pastor’s office to do some marriage counseling before they get married. It would be easy for me to buy into this tradition.

My friend told me he plans to do it differently. He plans to go through marriage counseling with the girl he’s interested in marrying before he gets engaged. That was the first time I heard of marriage counseling being done that way. What a wonderful idea! (Of course, I’m presuming pre-marital counseling provides a substantial amount of wisdom, discernment, and ground work for those who attend.)

When people get engaged, they set a wedding date and start planning for that big day. It seems like they have crossed a point of no return. Wouldn’t it be wiser for us to learn what God says about marriage and get our spiritual house in order before making that commitment? Once the girl has a ring on her finger, it will either be too late and hard for you to change your mind or an opportunity to emotionally traumatize yourself by giving your heart away to a girl who will not be your spouse.

Lately, my posts have been dominated by spiritual reflections. So I thought I’d give you all an update on my life. I know how uninteresting it is to read posts dominated by a blogger’s thoughts on personal and mundane activities. But as Christians, we know that life is a gift from God, and we can praise God for the trivial excitements of life. We live life together and our human experiences bond us together. So I hope you’ll find the following “ramblings” somewhat interesting. Or at least you’ll know how to pray for me.

I started my trip back down to Lynchburg on August 16th. On the way back, I stopped by my friend’s place in NJ. It is exciting to see what the Lord is doing. My friends are discerning God’s calling on their lives… one is starting seminary, another medical school, others are beginning their careers, another is pursuing his doctorate. A bunch are still single, while some are getting into godly relationships. It is comforting to know that our sovereign God is watching over each of His own as they desire to be salt and light in this world. Strangely enough, hearing the tough situations my friends face reminded me that I should be thankful for my many blessings. I hope I encouraged my friends to rejoice in trials. God will meet every need of ours through Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:19)

My trials are really insignificant. And even if they were significant, I should be joyful! My 2nd year of law school has started. I’m taking Constitutional Law, Evidence, Criminal Law, Taxation for Individuals, and Lawyering Skills. The material is very interesting… but sometimes the amount that is covered makes it more painful and gruesome.

I really enjoy the weekends, so I’m working on my weekday “class” attitude. It’s hard to remember that I must study for the glory of God. I would prefer to sit under an apple tree and be innovative than to read about what others have already discovered. But I suppose there’s no point in reinventing the wheel. I need to work on time management: on doing both “work and leisure” on any given day. Otherwise my brain will overload from cramming and I’ll begin to have a bad attitude about doing the work.

In my spare time, I enjoy basketball and hanging out with friends. I’ve been trying to get to know my roommates better. I’ve been reminded that relationships play a vital role in the Christian life. I’m glad that I’m not in this race by myself. For all those interested, a group of us will be doing a Bible Study on Fridays. I’ve recruited about 12 or so to join in. Please pray for me to be a good leader. Soli Deo Gloria.

Mosquito bites and a sprained ankle have reminded me that this world is not my home. (I sprained my ankle by doing a layup and landing on a basketball that someone left at the out of bounce line, right under the hoop.)

Yesterday, I cut my own hair for the first time. I used a mirror. I’m proud of this accomplishment! =)

I’m back in Montana after a brief visit with my grandfather (in NY) this weekend. My grandpa has pneumonia and is very weak. Please pray for him. His name is Thomas Louie. He is 89 years old, but a youthful Christian. He seems to be suffering and this is sad to see. Pray for God’s glory in this tough situation.

In times like these, I remind myself of God’s goodness. I need to remember the gospel… Christ became a man and bore our sin. If I do not know God as good, I don’t know him as He is. He suffered for our joy and endured the cross. I don’t need to see Mel Gibson’s movie to understand the pain Christ went through. My grandfather is having trouble breathing, but Christ willingly suffocated on the cross. This is true love. He can definitely sympathize with us in our trials.

My internship with Peacemaker Ministries has begun. I am now in Montana.

The mission of Peacemaker Ministries is to equip and assist Christians and their churches to respond to conflict biblically. In a more expanded version, our mission is to equip and assist Christians and their churches to respond to conflict biblically by developing and delivering outstanding, life-changing resources, training, and services to a multitude of receptive churches throughout the world. We prepare church leaders, adults, and children for peacemaking through educational resources, seminars, and training. We also provide conflict coaching, mediation, and arbitration services to resolve church and ministry disputes, lawsuits, family divisions, and business conflicts. – Peacemaker website

Please click here to read my initial impressions of Peacemaker ministries. I am very encouraged. That page will give you some of my first impressions and thoughts, as well as a link to a few of my personal pictures from my brief visit to Yellowstone National Park.

My baptist friend, Al Mohler is a wonderful man. In this post, he talks about the importance of eating family meals together. This world is fast-paced and we may be tempted to become engaged in our own little sphere. It is sad that families don’t consider it important to eat supper together. Mohler explains that meal time is an essential time to fellowship and catch up on each other’s lives. Let’s encourage our families to eat often as a family unit.

On Mohler’s radio program last week, he talked about birth control and wrong ideas about children. He doesn’t buy into the Roman Catholic view that everytime a married couple has sex, they must be open to the gift of children, or else they should abstain from sex completely. At the same time, he warns against the world’s view that children are a nuisance, to be seen as an intrusion into marriage. He believes sustained use of birth control without prayer and justification is harmful to the marriage. (When he talks about methods of birth control and family planning, he is not talking about abortive methods, which are clearly wrong.) Mohler talks quickly and will keep your attention. He outlines the broader Biblical principles for practical application, rather than dwelling on the exceptional cases. I recommend that you check out the program here. (The birth control part starts 11 minutes into the program.)

Today, I finished off Contracts class with a 3 hour final. I am done with Contracts! (Presupposing that God enabled me to pass the exam.) 3 classes completed, 3 more finals to go. I am excited that summer break is arriving. The weather doesn’t help! Please pray that I study hard through next Friday.

Today, I finished “The Enemy Within” by Kris Lundgaard. It encouraged me to give sin the deathblow and give God the glory for the work of His Spirit. It’s a very practical book and the author knows his Bible well.

Taste and see that the Lord is good… (Psalm 34)

With finals coming, I feel the pressure to stress and worry. I am tempted to think, “if only… then I will be happy.” If only my exams were over…

My desires for the end of a semester and a period of rest are good ones, but am I forgetting that my sovereign God is in control, even now? There is always another “if only” idol that my sinful heart can conjure up. If only I had cash, a girl, popularity and respect, health, and a worry free life… But I must realize, the idols of the heart are salt water compared to the living water Christians have in Christ. Where am I drawing my strength from today?

I should see the rush at the end of this semester as an opportunity to learn to be disciplined, juggle my responsibilities, and trust in God. I shouldn’t let my peace and contentment slip away by trying circumstances. I am reminded of Scripture’s language of “waiting on God.”

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning. – Psalm 130: 5-6

Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint. – Isaiah 40:30-31

I need patience in God’s perfect timing. If I can’t learn to be joyful, content, and patient now, how will I respond to tough times in the future? Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds. (James 1) Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God. (John 14)