Have you ever considered the difference between calculated self-defense and outright retaliation? There is a big difference and our hearts need to be right with God to know the subtle motives of our heart. We need to watch our hearts and not let our idols or emotions, like fear or anger, control us when we are in the slippery slope of conflict. By nature, our hearts are deceitful and corrupt (Jeremiah 17:9)! But God gives us the Word, the Spirit, and the grace to discern our hearts (Hebrews 4:12). Especially during conflict, it is wise for us to consider if our hearts are really fulfilling God’s command to love Him above all else and to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40).

Charl van Wyk, a missionary in South Africa, is a great demonstration of a gospel-centered, peacemaker. In 1993, terrorists showed up at his church and opened fire. They murdered 11 and injured 58. Charl understood his duty to defend lives and opened fire on the attackers with his .38 special revolver. This caused the attackers to flee the scene, which prevented even more deaths. It was later discovered that the terrorists had planned to kill the whole congregation. Charl’s heroic actions saved lives and the congregation was grateful for a fearless leader.

But in the weeks following the attack, Charl struggled with unforgiveness in his heart. While many of his congregation had forgiven the attackers, Charl struggled with hatred and bitterness in his heart toward the terrorist attackers. Why should he forgive them if they were not repentant? But hatred destroys the holder of it. After seeking the Lord, Charl found freedom to love and forgive his enemies when he recognized how great a debt the Lord had forgiven him. God demonstrated his love for sinners by dying on the cross for their sins. Romans 5:10 explains that this demonstration occurred while we were God’s enemies! It was while we were his enemies that He loved us and reconciled us to himself by the death of his Son!

Those having been reconciled to God can not go on harboring bitterness and anger toward others. Our ability to forgive others shows whether or not we are true Christians. “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” – Matthew 6:14-15. Our attitude should be, but for the grace of God, go I (1 Corinthians 15:10)! Praise the Lord for restraining me and giving me grace! As peacemakers, we implore others to be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:20-21). We call others to know the peace and forgiveness that is available to them in Christ.

Charl lived out the gospel in his actions. He felt called to take the gospel to his attackers, to show love to his enemies (Luke 6:35). This he did, and to this I say, “Wow! What a demonstration of Christ like love!” Praise the Lord for the example in his servant. If you have a few moments, check out Charl’s video testimony:

I will bless the Lord at all times;
his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul makes its boast in the Lord;
let the humble hear and be glad.
Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
and let us exalt his name together!
I sought the Lord, and he answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.

To magnify the Lord means to see and proclaim his greatness. What I am captured by becomes my talk, day and night. Here, David is captured by God and calls us to join him in magnifying the Lord.

Notice from the last verse that a proper vision of the Lord results in boldness, being unafraid in the face of danger. Seeking God results in His answer and a deliverance from fears. In other words, when we go before God and cast our burdens on him (1 Peter 5:7), when we become enthralled by Christ, glorious God in human form (Colossians 1:15-20), we lose our fears.

Fear is a cruel master. There is a lot to be fearful about. We can lose our money, house, health, job, respect… Frankly, there is much in life we can’t control and there is much that is unknown about the universe.

But dear Christian, Christ came to destroy the fear of death (Hebrews 2:14-15). Why be subject to all the other fears that Christ came to conquer? Hasn’t God been faithful to you all your years? In his book, Overcoming the World, Joel Beeke recalls a conversation with his friend Dr. Peter Hammond.

[E]very time he preaches in Sudan, he expects to be arrested and persecuted. When pressed for details on how he was persecute, Dr. Hammond said he had experienced “minor persecution,” such as having his head submerged in a pail of urine until he was forced to drink it, or having a bag tied around his head at the neck until he fainted from lack of oxygen. “That’s nothing compared to what our Lord experienced,” he quickly added. “We Christians must count it all joy when we are persecuted for Christ’s sake.”

Christians are not called to suffer for suffering’s sake. We do not enjoy suffering. But neither are we afraid of suffering. God has purposes for our suffering (Romans 5:1-5). Certainly, if God has ordained a particular trial in my life right now, it is for my good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

Certainly, God’s goodness to me is not measured in my pocketbook. Neither is it measured by my health or comfort. I forget God’s goodness to me when I forget that he came to die for sinners. He came to deliver me from death, the wrath of God, slavery to fears, and slavery to sin. If God brings me trials so that I can experience more of Him, who am I to complain (Psalm 73:25-26)?

God is good. And he will give us ALL that we need for life and for godliness and nothing less than what we need.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack!
The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. – Psalm 34:8-10

I particularly love the movie from a Peacemaking standpoint. When you see the movie, see if you recognize any of the seven A’s of confession, (thanks to Peacemaker ministries), when Caleb confesses his wrongdoing to his wife Katherine. Caleb’s repentance and confession to God led to peace with God and obedience to him. This in turn led to true brokenness and confession of sins to his wife. He owned his sin and accepted the consequences. Let it be known: there can be no peace with others, until there is peace with God. Peace is not simply the absence of conflict, but true relational intimacy, unity, and shalom.

The movie did well in other categories as well. It contained clean humor, surprising twists, and distinct personalities that stay true to their character. Other notable points:

1. God used several characters to work in the lives of Caleb and Katherine. Ministry is a team effort of love.
2. Sin was exposed using the standard of God’s holiness and his law. Without this, we don’t have true conversion and sincere repentance.
3. True manliness is shown. It takes bravery to own one’s own sin. Caleb dealt with his sin radically and biblically.
4. Hardness of hearts was revealed, but God’s grace was greater than their sin!
5. We are shown the silliness and folly of prideful characters. You’ll have to see the movie to understand which character I am talking about!
6. We are shown the danger of foolish counsel and the benefits of wise counsel.
7. The movie was romantic, showing the love of Christ through a husband who faithfully pursues his bride.
8. We are shown the danger of following our heart and desires.

There is nothing like enjoying God-given life in the present. I do suffer moments of brief worry about the future, but over all, God has been good to remind me to trust in His provisions. I could easily let myself become ruled by worry and forget the tasks that the Lord has already set before me. Where will I work? I need money! In my zeal, I want to start earning money right away so that I can be a provider for my family. But the Lord is teaching me patience.

God’s grace supplies all my needs. It is amazing to me how quickly I forget passages like the “Do Not Worry About Tomorrow” passages in Matthew and in Luke. God promises His own that if we seek first His kingdom, everything else will be added to us. My prayer has been that God’s kingdom would be glorified in my life. I want to build God’s kingdom, not my own. People often ask me if I am stressed. Nope, I am not. The reason why I can handle stress is because in this world of unknowns, I am known by the one who spoke galaxies into existence. Christ died for me, that I may live a life of faith.

It is amazing to me how much of the Christian life is one of proper perspective and vision. Faith would have me jumping up and down at the goodness of God. He is so good! Luke 12:32 says it well: “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Because Christ died for me, I know that the trials of life will not flip my boat over. With Christ, I can weather any storm. I remember John MacArthur mentioning in one of his sermons that he never has trouble sleeping because of worry. This is the life I want to live!

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.
O Israel, hope in the LORD!
For with the LORD there is steadfast love,
and with him is plentiful redemption.
And he will redeem Israel
from all his iniquities. – Psalm 130:5-8

So now, after this brief reminder to myself about finding rest in Christ, I am ready again to tackle that 40-page paper that God has set before me. I bid thee well, that you too will find rest in the storm.

Picture the darkness and sin that drives the players: the prostitute, the ring leader, the client. Each has sinful lusts and desires gone out of control, which lead to darkness and death. Lust for sex, a quick thrill, power, physical pleasure, money… Each party involved thinks they are gaining the world, but in reality, they are forfeiting their souls and bodies. They reject God and believe a lie.

They sacrifice their careers and reputations, risk jail and their health. They chose the path of death over life. They forfeit what could be their’s: true pleasures at God’s right hand. When I see the sins of others, it makes me sad. I am sad because sin brings so much misery… both to the wrongdoers and those they wronged. Think of all the spouses and women harmed!

Seeing the ugliness of sin also makes me think of the gospel. I see what I could have been. I become grateful to God for his mercy. Praise be to God who has freed us from death and slavery. Without him, who knows where I would be?! I am not a good person, but I know the one who is!

Today, one in four teenage girls has a STD. Half of all marriages in America end in divorce. Such was us… But we are a holy priesthood, called by God to give him praise. We are new creations! We are not slaves of sin, but rather, of righteousness!

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. – 1 Peter 2:9

Don’t for a second envy the world. And if you do, run to Christ, for in him is forgiveness, true joy, and life everlasting.

Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” – John 4:13-14

For what is the sum and substance of these simple words? It is this: Christ is that Fountain of living water, which God has graciously provided for thirsting souls. From Him, as out of the rock smitten by Moses, there flows an abundant stream for all who travel through the wilderness of this world. In Him, as our Redeemer and Substitute, crucified for our sins and raised again for our justification, there is an endless supply of all that men can need: pardon, absolution, mercy, grace, peace, rest, relief, comfort and hope. – J. C. Ryle

My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water. Jeremiah 2:13

Men are in a restless pursuit after satisfaction in earthly things. They will exhaust themselves in the deceitful delights of sin, and, finding them all to be vanity and emptiness, they will become very perplexed and disappointed. But they will still continue their fruitless search.

Though wearied, they still stagger forward under the influence of spiritual madness, and though there is no result to be reached except that of everlasting disappointment, yet they press forward. They have no forethought for their eternal state; the present hour absorbs them. They turn to another and another of earth’s broken cisterns, hoping to find water where not a drop was ever discovered yet. – Spurgeon

There is in Him an all-sufficiency of grace and strength; all our springs are in Him and our streams from him; to forsake Him is, in effect, to deny this. He has been to us a bountiful benefactor, a fountain of living waters, overflowing, ever flowing, in the gifts of his favor; to forsake Him is to refuse to acknowledge His kindness and to withhold that tribute of love and praise which His kindness calls for.

Those who forsake Him cheat themselves, they forsook their own mercies, but it was for lying vanities. They took a great deal of pains to hew themselves out cisterns, to dig pits or pools in the earth or rock which they would carry water to, or which should receive the rain; but they proved broken cisterns, false at the bottom, so that they could hold no water. When they came to quench their thirst there they found nothing but mud and mire, and the filthy sediments of a standing lake. Such idols were to their worshippers, and such a change did those experience who turned from God to them.

If we make an idol of any creature – wealth, or pleasure, or honor, if we place our happiness in it, and promise ourselves the comfort and satisfaction in it which are to be had in God only, if we make it our joy and love, our hope and confidence, we shall find it a cistern, which we take a great deal of pains to hew out and fill, and at the best it will hold but a little water, and that dead and flat, and soon corrupting and becoming nauseous. No, it is a broken cistern, which cracks and cleaves in hot weather, so that the water is lost when we have most need of it. Let us therefore with purpose of heart cleave to the Lord only, for where else shall we go? He has the words of eternal life. – Puritan

But those who are most conscious of forgiveness are invariably those who have been most acutely convicted of their sin. – (The Christian Life by Sinclair Ferguson, “Conviction of Sin,” p.39)

How beautiful it is to picture the grateful woman who wet Jesus’ feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair! (Luke 7:36-50.) What a lesson of gratitude for us! Evidently, this “sinner” saw her sinfulness, recognized the Savior for who he was, and received forgiveness. Her gratitude was a result of godly conviction of sin and repentance.

I often act as though I don’t need forgiveness. Take for instance when I have offended another person. I try to explain why I spoke or acted the way I did and ask for understanding, rather than forgiveness. But if I saw that Christ has paid my debt completely, I would be honest about my sin. Like the sinful woman, I would be grateful for God’s forgiveness. I have nothing to hide. In fact, confession of my sin would bring God glory! This is why he came to die. Knowing God’s forgiveness means that I should be real with myself and others, after all, God knows my thoughts fully (Psalm 139), yet still loves me—He died to make me clean!

Often, I am not open with my sinfulness, because I make an idol of holiness and want to look clean before others. I act like a Pharisee, wishing to establish my own standing before God, rather than acknowledge the beauty of the Savior. When I act as though I don’t need God’s forgiveness, I lack a conviction of sin. I am ungrateful for God’s work. I am prone to become an idolater.

But what a contrast the sinful woman shows. She is thankful. Thankfulness is a remedy against idolatry. When I am thankful, I am least prone to lust after women, to lust after the praise of men, and to lust after money. When I have forgotten that sin is my greatest enemy and why Jesus came to die, I go down a trail of sin: pride, ungratefulness, and self-pity. How much better it is to receive the words of the Shepherd, who has power to forgive! Jesus said to the woman “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” – Luke 7:50

Being ungrateful is a result of forgetting my status. Instead of trying harder to make myself holy, I should be grateful for redemption, accomplished and applied through the Son. His death brings me forgiveness, full and free.

But where you find quarrels and fights, you are witnessing people obeying the desires of a different lord. – (Journal of Biblical Counseling, 16:1, p. 34)

Anger is a moral matter. By its nature it makes judgments and seeks to eliminate injustice. God wants me to exhibit righteous anger. I should be rightfully outraged at gossip, theft, murder, and child abuse. But too often, my anger is not holy. The fruit of my anger shows me that unrighteous anger has mastered me. Powlison says it well: “The clearest gauge of whether anger is right or wrong in its expression is whether it acts to condemn or to offer help.” (Journal of Biblical Counseling, 14:1, p.50)

As a peacemaker, I need to be ruled by righteous anger. Temptations toward unrighteous anger abound. I am tempted to become fed up with the inconsiderateness of counselees who call me at odd hours, when I am busy or tired. Why does the counselee bother me now? I hear the problems of people in conflict and am tempted towards escapism. I tell them to just trust in God, but say this with a lack of faith, believing that this particular individual lacks faith, just wants to vent, and is hopeless. Or perhaps I feel that a counselee wants me to pronounce a judgment over his wrong doer. I become fed up with the sins of the counselee and offer a stern rebuke, lacking in grace and mercy. I may avoid a verbal conflict with my counselee, but all is not well in my own heart. My mind races to my own needs and my ears are not attentive to him. I need peace and rest!

James 4 says that I have conflicts because of the desires that battle within me. God’s word turns on the lights. It tells me that I have not watched my tongue or my desires. When I examine my desires, I notice that I have become frustrated because I have created idols. My desires for peace and quiet have reached the status of “lords.” Perhaps I am driven by fear and worry that because of the time taken up by this counseling session, all will not be well tomorrow. I forget that God is faithful. I forget that God is concerned about changing me more than my circumstances. He wants to make me patient and compassionate. He wants me to stand with those that have been wronged and remind them that God is their refuge. He wants me to breathe grace to my counselees and encourage them to walk in love and forgiveness.

The Lord shows me that instead of seeing my counselee as a roadblock to my goals, I should see myself as an instrument in the Redeemer’s hand. The Lord has been patient with me, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. (Psalm 103:8.) Praise the Lord.

Christless, grace-less attempts at change conclude either with the praise of your own glory or with your shame. – (“Who Is God?,” Seeing with New Eyes by David Powlison, p.48)

Why do I fail in my attempts at change? Answer: Because I attempt to change my life in my own strength, for my own glory. With a doctrine of sin, I become frustrated that I have yet again become entangled in my sin! I dislike reaping what I sow. I know sin has consequences: thorns and bad fruit.

My habit of running to escapes when I have course work due the next day is not helpful. I become outraged at myself when I don’t do as well as I should on my assignments or examinations. “I could have done better if I didn’t waste time!” I try to encourage myself out of my guilt by telling myself: “I will redouble my efforts and be successful next time.” But somehow, escapes like the internet and email claim my attention, and I fail yet again.

I fail because I have a self-centered approach in my war against sin. My anger is against the consequences of sin, rather than the evilness of sin. I do not realize that my sin is an offense against God. (Psalm 51:4, Luke 15:18, Genesis 39:9.) Instead of being upset that I have wasted my precious time when I should have been studying, I should be concerned that I have not lived life to God’s glory. I have sinned against God by trying to forget my worries. I forget God’s presence and do not rely on him for tomorrow. My motivation, my heart for change, is not pure. I am mad at myself because of my pride. I want to achieve my own righteousness. I dislike feeling guilty and wish those feelings would go away. But this is worldly guilt that leads to death. (2 Corinthians 7:10.) Graciously, God lets me fail again and again when I attempt to change in my own strength.

God wants to cultivate in me godly guilt. Godly guilt leads to repentance and life. At the heart of godly guilt is an attitude that makes Christ preeminent. A doctrine of sin would have me examine why my sin is so ugly. It makes a mockery of God’s power and presence when I fail to trust in him. I should not be surprised at my sinfulness. This is why Christ had to die! I need Christ’s love, forgiveness, and power to change. I need to live life to the praise and glory of his grace. Whether I eat or drink, I must do all for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31.) God is glorified as I rely on him for grace to change. He wants me to testify that his grace is sufficient for me, and that his power is made perfect in my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9.) May we boast in our weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest in us!

Slowing it Down:
The Bible doesn’t explicitly mention how often I am to log into my E-trade account. However, it does speak to me concerning my heart and my treasure. My habit of checking my portfolio is not as harmless as it appears; it has been a distraction from godly living and contentment in Christ.

Why is the desire to know the status of my portfolio so strong? I want to feel secure– unafraid of the future. I seek comfort in knowing that my needs will be met; I believe that money can buy me what I need. I use money like a drug, to forget my worries and cover up my neediness. It is an escape from my troubles and sorrows. I treat money as a deity. I run to my portfolio, because I want it to tell me, “All will be well for tomorrow. Fear not!” Uncovering the thought pattern of my escapist tendencies will help me in my pilgrimage of life. I should be running to the Lord for refuge, not to distractions such as money, food, the internet, etc…

When my wealth increases, I experience euphoria. I find a reason to live. I feel important– that I have self-worth. It is I who made an excellent choice on a particular stock. I can thank myself for my good fortunes. Others who are not as successful as me are puny.

Madness! Where do I think my fortunes come from?

Other times, my idol is not so kind. My idols of wealth and security toss me around. A misplaced treasure is really no treasure at all. Stocks fall and I become disappointed at my losses. Anxiety and worry about the future overtake me. I am not happy and am tempted to find happiness in other puddles of mud, in other idols. Oh the folly of serving false gods! God is gracious to let me know that I am building my house on sand. If where my treasure is is something that can be taken away, I have a house of cards.

The Lord shows me that my soul is not well and peaceful within. The Lord would have me be productive, and not worry about things outside my control. The choice point is rather simple, either I trust in God or I trust in an idol: things or myself.

I am a 22 year old, third-year law student on track to graduate in 2008. I would love to go to seminary in the near future. There is good fruit in my life. There are signs of love for people. I want to use my talents and gifts to serve people. I am hospitable with my talents and time, my house and vehicle, the food in my refrigerator, etc. I have a girlfriend, a small reserve of money, and big visions for the future. I want to start a family next summer and begin using my cash for my seminary education, my future wife’s education, and family necessities such as food, clothing, shelter, insurance, etc…

Money is a means to fulfill my ambitions. I don’t want to be rich, but I want to have enough cushion so that I can concentrate on God’s work. I desire a safety net. After all, having a reserve of cash is wisdom, isn’t it? I desire to be a good steward. God wants me to be responsible and provide for a family, right?! I desire to be a good husband. To start a family, I will need to be able to provide financially. Starting a family is God-glorifying, right and good! With money, I can be educated and equipped for gospel service. The bills will add up. In the near future, I will need perhaps 60k for seminary, 40k for insurance, 50k for my wife’s education, etc….

The evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but that we want it too much. – John Calvin.

My idolatry isn’t simply the idolatry of money. I am an idol factory. I long for the comfort, security, and joys that money promises. An idol is something other than God that we set our hearts on. It motivates us, masters or rules us, and enslaves us.

God Meets Us as We Are, but Changes Us:
God wants to change me more than my circumstances. He wants me to trust in Him for my needs, not in my own abilities. My escapist tendencies are met by a God who is described as a good shepherd, one who lays down his life for the sheep. I need not fend for myself. I am led by a God who will not quench a faintly burning wick. If I let the Lord be my shepherd, I shall not want. God encounters me in my fear and worry and lets me know that worry is foolishness. My desires for worth are met when I remember that I am rich in Christ! (2 Corinthians 8:9.)

This God who calls me to trust in Him is the God of comforts, safety, and rest. He is a Solid Rock on which to build my life. He does not promise an easy life, but he promises us Himself. “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” God proclaims to me that he is the treasure and that he is more than enough! True rest can only be found in the solace of God. In the parable of the rich fool, Scripture reminds me that placing my trust in this world is foolishness. (Luke 12:13-20.) My soul is much more important.

To counteract my self-trust, Scripture proclaims the Mighty Fortress. “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” – Psalm 18:2.

To counteract my pride, Scripture puts me in my place. It reminds me that wealth is worthless in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death. (Proverbs 11:4.) It reminds me that every thing I have is a gift from God. “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (1 Corinthians 4:7.) Scripture reminds me to seek first God’s kingdom. (Matthew 6:33.)

To counteract my false joys, Scripture reminds me that God is the source of joy and that godliness with contentment is true gain. (1 Timothy 6:6.)

To counteracts my self-sufficiency and self-dependency, Scripture reminds me that my heavenly Father knows my needs (Matthew 6:32), that He will supply every need of mine according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

To counteract my fear, Scripture reminds me to fear not, for I am of the flock and God is a good shepherd. He desires to give me the kingdom. (Luke 12:32.)

To counteract my fear of loneliness or abandonment, Scripture reminds me that God will never leave me nor forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5.)

To counteract my selfishness, Scripture commands me to store up treasure in heaven and give to the needy. (Luke 12:33.)

Remembering the promises of God and recognizing my idolatry will be helpful in other vignettes of my life. I need to watch my tendency towards worry and discontent when spending money or when paying bills. I need to ask myself where my trust is when I desire a refuge– when I am bored and wandering or when I seek safety in a stressful time.

If you are hung up on money you may not even be a Christian, because people in Christ’s Kingdom are laying up treasure in heaven — investing in eternity. – John MacArthur (http://www.biblebb.com/files/MAC/sg2245.htm)

A practical way to fight my love of money is to fast from E-trade and to guard against substitute idols and escapes, such as facebook.com.

Good fruit will result in even more hospitality and giving. It would result in me enjoying what God has given me and not being fretful about spending money. I would run to God in times of stress, not to his good gifts. I would show people where my treasure is.

I would not worry about tomorrow, but would work diligently and steadily and give God the glory for what He has provided. I would trust God and not my own abilities to meet my needs. I would seek the balanced third-way, avoiding love or disdain of money. Everything created by God is good if it is received with thanksgiving. I would live life with a faith that works itself out in love. I would use what I have received to love others and build God’s kingdom. I would share what I have and help the hurting and suffering. I would love, fear, and trust in God above all else.