In his book Loving Well, William P. Smith recounts a story of an elder sharing that he and his wife thought the secret to the success of their 27-year-long marriage was that they had learned how to be patient with each other. He went on to say that he thought that was similar to our… Read More »
It is easy for me to become impatient with those that I love the most. Perhaps this is because there are more opportunities for me to sin given the time I spend with loved ones, or perhaps I practice less self-control around loved ones because I’m not afraid of what they think of me! I… Read More »
Is forgiveness conditioned on repentance? In other words, would you be a softy for forgiving someone who shows no remorse for his wrong doing and offers no signs of repentance? Perhaps your offender doesn’t even know he did anything wrong and is oblivious to his actions, or even worse, perhaps he adamantly insists that he… Read More »
(Authors note: As I read this blog post a decade later (2023) and having grown in my understanding of how oppression desecrates the image of God in both the oppressor and the victim, I want to clarify that there are times to leave an oppressive relationship. There are Biblical examples of people fleeing for safety… Read More »
Last month we discussed How to Avoid Being Defensive When Criticized. This month we’ll take the next step and consider how we should respond once we’ve determined by God’s help not to be defensive. Before you start speaking to a person you’ve offended, please remember not to apologize. Yes, you heard me right. Do NOT apologize.… Read More »
Even in our dearest of relationships, people will not always extend grace to us and may be angry with us, rightly or wrongly. We have a choice then, in how we respond. We can become defensive and respond by attacking the person in return or we can be slow to anger and slow to self-justification. If… Read More »
Being angry well during conflict is a noble goal to have. After all, Ephesians 4:26 commands us to us “be angry and do not sin.” Being angry in conflict usually isn’t a problem, but being angry and not sinning is hard work! Anger can boil up in me pretty quickly. If I don’t ask for… Read More »
Have you ever found yourself disappointed in a relationship? Perhaps you expected a friend to meet your needs, but their faithfulness was lacking in your time of need. Or perhaps you expected marriage to cure your loneliness or help you find fulfillment but your spouse’s ability to be there for you and support you has… Read More »
Relational conflict… I think of tempers flaring, an argument brewing, and the peace disturbed. What on earth can be worse than conflict? My Answer: The miseries of sin are worse than relational conflict. In other words, sin is my enemy, not conflict. The old but precise language in the Westminster Confession of Faith puts the… Read More »
Overview: Many people may be unaware of a common disease called unforgiveness that may be afflicting them or their loved ones. But when unforgiveness, a form of gospel amnesia, is diagnosed, there is a cure. Knowing the mercies of God through Jesus Christ has shown to be effective at eradicating unforgiveness at its root. Diagnosis and… Read More »